Beauty is a word that can conjure up an image of bliss for some, and pain for others. It can be a set of ideals, or a path of inspiration or even aspiration. As a small town girl, growing up in the middle of nowhere I idolized the type of beauty that I saw in magazines and movies.
As an 11 year old girl just starting high school I didn't fit into that image of beauty, which seemed to be in everyone's minds. I had a physical facial scar which turned into a mental scar after a few classroom bullies thought it would be fun to call me 'scar face'. After a family member bought me my first concealer to 'cover it up' - my obsession with make up was born. I learnt at a young age, how different make up can make you feel. Granted looking back I can tell you that the concealer didn't cover up my scar, was likely 3 shades too dark for my pale skin and applied incorrectly - but it made me feel better.
Which is where my ugly obsession with beauty began. It seemed like growing up, nothing was ever right for me and there was always something which could be improved, concealed and analyzed. I wanted to look like the girls in the magazines, the women on tv and the glamorous women who slinked down the red carpet at The Oscars. Being seen without make up was frowned upon, there were magazines dedicated to pointing out people's flaws. Being pale was, and in many ways still is seen as a negative and unattractive, and magazines were always quick to point out if someone was looking 'pasty' or without make up.
However, growing up in 2014, is almost an entirely different world to growing up in the nineties or noughties as Blogs and vloggers are everywhere and It seems to me that the ugly side of beauty is starting to be broken down - with online campaigns such as the '#nomakeupselfie' making the rounds, girls are almost feeling more confident in their skin than ever.
Youtubers are becoming more popular than celebrities and the beauty world is struggling to keep up sometimes. I'm hoping that these exciting beauty avenues will be a positive influence on the new generation of beauty lovers out there as I for one, would much rather live in a world where girls are idolizing Zoella than Katie Price, and where demure fashion is more popular than glamour model chic - and as a former playboy bunny loving girl, that is an easy choice to make.
For this blogger, the ugly side of beauty is the thought or motion that in order to be beautiful you have to look a certain way... and as shameful as it sounds, it took me over twenty years to realize that isn't true. I'm proud to finally feel confident in my own skin and for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm finally finding true beauty.