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HELLO AGAIN

Dealing with Hate and Criticism

Saturday, 1 November 2014


It doesn't matter who you are, or what you do in life, it's inevitable that people will hate you. And I know that sounds harsh and unfair.. but it's true. I always grew up understanding that fact and knowing that not everybody will be nice, friendly or kind towards me. I built a mental defense and barrier to keep negativity out of my mind... although often sadly at the expense of keeping positivity away too.

As I got older, and after having some horrible life experiences thrown at me, I adapted and did my best to try and move on. I guess I built a mind frame of expecting negativity as I'd much rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed... I had it in my head that if you constantly expect the worst, then it makes the good times better...

However, what changed that mind frame for me, is blogging. It has truly given me a new lease of life and helped lift my confidence and spirits and in the 9 months I've been blogging... I've been lucky to only be see the positive side of the community and feel nothing but warmth...

That was, until I was messaged a link to a page with hundreds of comments tearing me apart. And as much as I'd love to say that it didn't bother me, that I laughed it off... and carried on... it got to me.
It took me to a place I didn't want to go and i've struggled to look at my blog all week because of it.

I work full time, and put in every spare minute into my blog. It has beome a part of me and as it grows, I'm growing with it. It makes me sad to think that I let insignificant people get to me, and missed posting because of it. When I started My Pale Skin, I didn't start it as a place to have a 'pale pissing contest' or claim to be the 'most pale girl' in the world and as dumb as that sounds...some people take great pride in themselves to try and argue how pale they are in comparison to me... which is quite frankly ridiculous.

I started this blog as a place where I'd like to become confident in my own skin - physically and mentally. A place where we enhance ourselves, rather than mask it with tan and fakery... and a place to share tips on what is working for me. This blog is a place of honesty.. where it's okay to have a bad day and it doesn't matter if you don't have perfect skin.. or perfect hair. This is a place where I can just be me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, this blog is a big learning curve for me and one which I adore writing... and having let some bullies get to me this week and miss a few days posting... I apologize.

So welcome to November, where I'm aiming to post 5 blog posts and 1 video per week... and work on my self confidence. Although we cant change other people, we can change ourselves and I'm going to do my best to make this month a good one.

Thanks for reading. 
Em xxx 

28 comments:

  1. I think you've done amazingly well in 9 months. You're an inspiration and as a fellow pale skin girl i salute you. Ignore the haters... as hard as it is, and learn from lifes challenges. Well done for speaking up. X

    illustrated-teacup.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. I despise bullies, and it's such a shame that they made you unable to look at your own blog. I always look forward to reading your posts because your tips and advice for pale skinned girls are very useful and I do actually take them on board.
    Its clear that you're a hard worker and you should be very proud of your blog!
    If people want to sit behind a computer screen being horrible people then let them, it's only their own time they're wasting :) just think that whilst they're doing that, you're making people feel okay to have pale skin, or to have imperfections, or to just be comfortable being themselves!

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  3. I am so sorry that there are such sad people in the world that need to put you down to feel better about themselves. You are beautiful and you write a wonderful blog that I truly enjoy reading.You write some of the most genuine, honest and thought provoking posts ive ever read. It takes courage to stand up and move forward and you are doing just that, you are brave and an inspiration. Don't let them pull you down.

    You are amazing.

    Courtney xx
    La Belle Sirene

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  4. I cannot believe there are people out there that still think talking bad about others is acceptable. Your blog is absolutely incredible and I look forward to seeing it pop up on my feed! You should be so proud of where you have come in the last 9 months and don't let the haters bring you down! Be strong lovely!
    Alice xo
    www.shesthunderstorms.co.uk

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  5. It sucks that people can be so mean to others like yourself when they barely even know you. It's great to see how well you have done with this blog of yours in the short space of time and I can only hope to do as well as you have. Congrats for keeping you head up and not letting these kind of people bring you down too much x

    Beauty with charm | TOOFACED GIVEAWAY

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  6. I am shocked that people could be so horrible about your blog. You are so lovely, and your blog is so honest and inspirational. These people are clearly jealous that you have a successful blog, and it's so sad that people still behave this way- I feel sorry for them, they must be so full of negativity!
    You are awesome, and one of my favourite bloggers- keep up the great work :)
    Emily xx
    www.emilymaydesigns.com

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  7. Oh gosh that's awful! Please don't let it affect you any further as bullies like them do not deserve the attention x

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  8. A beautifully written post - high five!!

    Rxx

    www.peppermintdolly.wordpress.com

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  9. Even thought it is a lot easier said then done, don't get bothered with those "haters"!! You are such a beautiful, successful and inspiring young women!! I absolutely love your blog and you have done an amazing job in a short period of time!! I give you a high five xo

    MD | http://byourbself.blogspot.ca/

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  10. wow your blog has come so far in 9 months! Some people are so hateful for no reason, I love reading your blog and honestly have nothing bad to say about it

    Eilidh from Velvet-Winter

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  11. It's sad that some people feel the need to be negative - but honestly don't listen as your blog and youtube is great so ignore them!! I am so impressed with how far your blog has come in only 9 months :) Have a lovely weekend xx

    www.lulabelloves.com

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  12. Blogging has definitely helped my confidence too, I love the blogging community! Unfortunately, no matter what you do, you will always get criticised and bullied about it, it happens to everyone. You just need to not let it stop you from doing what you love, as hard as it may be. Your blog is great and you should never think poorly about it or yourself :)

    http://anotherfashionfanatic.blogspot.co.uk/

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  13. Em, you have no need to apologise for anything! Bullies are nasty, vile people & it is their fault for intentionally making you feel this way - not yours. I've always looked up to your blog & am amazed to learn that that it's been going for just 9 months! You've achieved so much with it & should be extremely proud of that. As for people's competitiveness over being the palest, I know someone with Albinism, the extremeness of pale & I know, with the the health issues she faces as a result, she would certainly not be joining in with the pale pissing contest! Your blog emulates your inner & outer beauty & I find it refreshing to read the words of someone embracing their pale skin rather than trying to cover it in fake tan & a tone of bronzer. I've found your posts about foundation & contouring particularly useful! Sorry for the ramble, I just got so cross on your behalf! Xx

    Tania | whentaniatalks.blogspot.co.uk

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  14. Just ignore all the negative remarks, some people can't stand to see others doing well. I experienced something similar myself a couple of weeks ago and wrote a post about cyber bullying. Rise above it and keep doing what you love!

    cyber bullying post

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  15. I had a nasty thread about how fat and ugly I am - I can't deny it made me cry but I got over it - they've noticed me - and so have all my lovely readers - so I try to be proud of that. You on the other hand are gorgeous as well as being smart and savvy and funny and popular and they clearly are jealous that they will never ever be or have what you are and do. Chin up - ignore those petty nasty human beings and just keep writing about what you love because we love reading what you write xx

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  16. I can't imagine why people would want to say such hurtful things towards you! Clearly they have their own issues that they need to work out. You're only attracting so much attention because you're doing such a fantastic job. If you weren't doing so well, you'd just be flying under their radar. <3

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  17. You've come so far in 9 months! It's always hard to hear people say bad stuff about you, but most of the time it's the 'haters' that seem to have all the problems! I seriously love your blog!
    Jodie xo // La Lune Song

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  18. I think individual comments are bad enough but a whole area dedicated to it is horrible. I'm glad you found the strength to rise above it and come back to posting.

    nueyork.blogspot.com

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  19. It's terrible that you've been caught up in such negative criticism when you are such a fabulous blogger that spreads positivity. It's a joy to read your posts and I really do value your opinions! Sending you strength and hoping you have the confidence to get back to how you were feeling before the haters :) xo

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  20. I'm so so so sad that people find it acceptable to be so hateful towards bloggers. Its really horrible to see what people are doing. I hope it doesn't make you want to post less or change who you are here on your blog xx

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  21. There are absolute bastards in the world, and don't let them get to you. I know exactly how you feel. I started a petition recently about banning Dapper Laughs from performing at my SU and I have been called every name under the sun it is AWFUL, it makes me want to cry because of how mean people are being. But just remember for every 1 hater there is 100 people who adore you.

    Vicky xx

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  22. Oh sweetie...you have done so well for yourself in the short time you've been blogging and it's inevitable that bitter bitches will have a stab. Chin up lovely, you are doing amazing! x

    Cream Tea And Rose Jam // Pretty Honest Giveaway

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  23. People only hate because they are envious, if you put in the efforts you deserve the results and I really hope you don't let the negative comments get to you :)

    Heather x
    http://heatherrrrm.blogspot.co.uk/

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  24. I have just found this page and can totally relate to all of this! I can't wait to read through your blog posts and steal some tips! x

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  25. Don't let people like that get to you! You know your reasons for starting this blog and people who lash out on other's on the internet are just jealous or taking out their anger behind their computer screens. I feel like a lot of people don't even feel like it is real because they don't personally know you and they aren't saying these things to your face! Ignore the haters and let them be negative and mean and whatever else, it's never going to make them anything but bad people. But letting it affect what you want to do with your blog is truly only hurting you! I think you have a lovely blog and I completely agree that we should be comfortable in our own skin instead of covering it up with fake tan or burning it up with the sun! You're beautiful and so is your blog! Keep on shining, girly!

    http://fashionbeautyloveblog.blogspot.com/

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  26. You are truly incredible.

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  27. I know that as soon as you start loving and respecting yourself, people will do the same.If you show them your weakness,they will continue to hurt you.Ignore them and love yourself:)

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